Teaching Summary: Cleaning up Your Mess

When I was a kid, I had a talent for getting messy. I could be outside for five minutes and come back covered in dirt from head to toe. I could spill a drink faster than you could hand me a napkin. I once dumped an entire pitcher of water on my date at a junior high Valentine’s banquet.

As kids, messes are expected. But as adults, the messes we make are different—and they often hurt a lot more.

We speak too quickly.

We act selfishly.

We break our word.

We withdraw when someone needs us most.

And what happens?

Trust is broken.

Relationships are damaged.

People get hurt—often the people closest to us.

Here’s the truth: it’s impossible to get through life without making a mess. But it’s what happens next that really matters.

Jesus and the Urgency of Reconciliation

In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus gives us these challenging words:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Picture it: You’re standing in church, about to take communion, when you remember a harsh word you spoke. Jesus says: Stop. Go. Make it right.

What’s He teaching us?

There’s never a wrong time to make a relationship right. Not even the most sacred act of worship should stop us from seeking reconciliation. As soon as you see the mess, drop what you’re doing and clean it up.

Why Apologizing Is So Hard

If it’s so important, why is saying “I’m sorry” so difficult?

Because it means admitting that the carefully constructed version of ourselves—the one we present to the world so we’ll be loved and accepted—isn’t entirely true.

It means exposing the real self beneath the surface—the part of us that can be selfish, petty, or impatient. And that feels risky.

We don’t get to control how the other person will respond. Will they forgive? Will they reject us? So we stay silent. We justify. We explain away the harm.

But as Psalm 32:3 reminds us:

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.”

Avoiding apology might feel like self-protection. It isn’t. It’s self-destruction.

The Story of Jacob and Esau

Consider the story of Jacob and Esau. Jacob deceived his father and stole his brother’s blessing. Esau was furious and planned to kill him. Jacob ran. He hid. And the mess sat there—for years.

Eventually, God told Jacob to go home. Jacob humbled himself, sent gifts ahead, and bowed low before Esau. And what did Esau do? He ran to his brother, embraced him, and wept.

That’s what happens when we step out of hiding and into the light. As 1 John 1:7 says:

“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.”

The Practice of Cleaning Up Our Mess

So what does it look like to clean up our mess in practical terms?

In the Daily Quiet Table Guide post, I’ve shared a simple, four-step spiritual practice that can help us move from brokenness to restoration—whether it’s a big mess or a small one.

For today, I encourage you to pause and ask:

Is there a relationship that needs repair? A conversation I’ve been avoiding? A moment where I need to say, “I’m sorry”?

Don’t wait. Don’t hide. Grace meets us in that vulnerable place.

Let’s be people who pollinate grace and leave behind healing wherever we go.